A God I don’t believe in

I often find myself praying to a God I don't believe in. I don't really know what I believe, except that I think humanity couldn't possibly have it right. If there is a God, we wouldn't be able to perceive it or fathom its motives or desires.

Religion becomes a part of you when you live in the South. When they call it the Bible Belt, they mean it. We didn't go to church every Sunday. When we did, I hated it (because people - yuck). I hated Sunday School even more (children - ew!).

As a child, my least favorite thing was other children. Made it hard to make friends. Now, I think kids are pretty much the best thing the world has to offer. Still, most adults are arseholes… and some kids are, too. Still, they have an excuse and the potential to change, which decreases dramatically as you age. But I digress… I do that a lot, actually. ADHD is fun /s. Every thought in my head is stray. It's either all the thoughts, all the time, or nothing… crickets… tumbleweeds.

( I want to gnaw on my cat, Cheeto, Dru's brother. I have severe cuteness aggression, and he's just the grumpiest, snuggliest little old man now, and I love him so much. Grrr!)

What was I talking about? GOD! God is everywhere here. There's a church on every street. People aren't afraid to knock on your door and ask about your immortal soul. Kinda seems like a personal question to me. And people around here have guns. It couldn't be me.

People are always offering to pray for you, no, not offering, insisting, even strangers. With all this "manifesting" going on, you'd think something good would happen, but they've done studies that proved prayer doesn't work. I know that, and I still find myself praying to a God I don't believe in.